I see subtitles in everything that passes by...
(Emiliana Torrini - If You Go Away)

Ever wake up in the middle of the night and be so thirsty that you have to get out of bed, walk down a flight of stairs to the kitchen and grab a glass of water? That's how I felt just a few minutes ago...when I was thirsty...so I got out of bed and walked down the stairs to get a drink of water. I wasn't sleeping though.

When I opened the fridge I couldn't help but notice a big bowl of cherries. I'm allergic to cherries; they make my mouth itch. So of course the most logical thing for me to do was to try a cherry. Who knows, maybe my allergies somehow magically disappeared.

They didn't and I'm a retard. The inside of my mouth is sooo itchy right now that I wished I hadn't clip all my fingernails so I could reach inside and scratch it.
...
If you wish upon a falling tree and it falls in the woods too far for you to hear, does it make a sound? Cuz if it did I bet it told the other trees what you wished for and then your wish wouldn't come true.
...
I just watched the Last Samurai tonight and I've come to realize 2 things: Japanese people are very quiet; and they carry a big fucken sharp stick.

Now I'm torn between becoming a Ninja and a Samurai when I grow up. Maybe I can be both. I could be the first Ninjurai!